Blog by slavejamess
What just happened? I can’t believe it was just 7 days ago that I was a relatively normal guy. Okay, I had a moderate fascination for financial domination and lust for female power – I have always been a submissive and into dominant women – but didn’t often lay down any hard earned cash to feed my slightly alternative kink. Oh no, I wasn’t so foolish, I knew how to keep my wallet shut tight, and keep my fantasies from interfering with my normal life.
But then 7 days ago happened, and Goddess Mz Devon’s happened… to me. She was not like the other fin dommes I had come across, she was something different. Exuding an air of confidence, an effortless power that seemed to suck me in without my knowledge. If I had known then what I know now, would I have run? Perhaps. Or perhaps the person I was then might have. But now, looking back, even if I could have run, No, I wouldn’t.
Yes, I was smitten by her unique style – beautiful, gorgeous, sexy and oh so powerful – tho i was not yet aware of how much I was smitten. In what seems like a trance looking back, one thing led to another, and before I knew it I had dug out my little used credit card and spent a small fortune on pics and clips, more than I had ever spent ever before online. What made me do it? I still don’t know. Perhaps at first it was those insanely divine lips, and the way they smiled so seductively at me, or the long, dark, luscious hair that captivated me, or perhaps I was simply mesmerized by those deep, brown gorgeous and twinkling eyes, drawing me in deeper and deeper into her world of seductions and submission? Or was it the way Goddess described each step of my downfall, so tempting me to take the next one, and the next one, and the next one – oh she knows how to lure the weak male in so instinctively – that kept me clicking and crawling along so addictively. All I know is that, with the slightest of shoves I just couldn’t stop clicking and following her games, her clips, her instructions, each and every time all the way to the end. Again. And Again. And Again.
OMG, when I came out of that lust fueled haze and saw how much I had spent, I was horrified! How much!!! Oh no, I wouldn’t be able to do that again, I couldn’t, at least not for a long long time. How could I have been so foolish. Never again, I said, once was enough, a mistake, and thought I meant it. But no, the next day the memory burned deep in my brain, the addiction had set in, and I had to return to the scene of the crime, reliving the heady excitement of the day before. And That was my downfall!
Up to that point, I may have escaped, and my life may have been a simpler, duller, if more wealthy. Only 6 days ago, I may have escaped into my humdrum normal life. But I had to go back, and the trap had been laid – and from this point on I don’t think I could have escaped no matter how I tried. Because waiting for me when I returned, heart thumping, was one little message. The thumps doubled. One little message, waiting to be opened, waiting to be paid for … I could have ignored it. Couldn’t I? I didn’t’ want a repeat of yesterday. Did I? What harm could it do to take a look? I could always ignore it, could always not reply. Couldn’t I? Ha! If only I had known … There wasn’t an answer, because there wasn’t a question, because there wasn’t a choice. I paid for the message, I read the message, my old self died a little inside, and any resolve I had crumbled. I was hooked! Totally. Completely. Utterly. I may not have known it yet, but my path of submission was laid out bare in front of me. Goddess knew exactly what She was doing. Goddess knew exactly what I was doing. But I was oblivious to the depth of submission that I had opened up for myself, how easily Goddess would open up my submissive soul, open up my resisting wallet, and open up the world of bliss that is serving Goddess MzDevon. I paid for the private message, I read the private message, and – oh! I may as well as signed my death warrant of my former life.
That was 6 days ago. I had replied to the message of course, baring my soul, my devotion. The next day I received another ptv message. I eagerly paid for it,. Opened it. Read it. Submitted to it. Replied to it. Signed away another little bit of my soul. Due to time differences I was only getting a message a day. Or so I thought. Now I think Goddess was just toying with me, testing me, pulling me in slowly, playing with me like a cat with her prey.
Day 5 – I rushed home, eager for the next message, desperately hoping that it would be there, trying not to contemplate what I would do if it wasn’t. And yes! There it was – open, pay, read, die, reply. Ready to wait another day, for another message, the long, slow path of my submission and my destruction. Frustratingly delicious.
But no! Goddess is nothing if not without surprises! This time she was waiting for me, lying in wait for her next victim, ready to pounce on her next plaything, to see what fun she could have with him, to see how far he would go for her – although I think she knew already how hooked I was, how deep I was for her. One message back almost immediately … Gulp! This was dangerous, this was live! And oh how dangerous it was – message after message, questioning, probing, instructing, testing, training. And one desperate payment after another, I couldn’t stop, and Goddess knew it. This little piggy belonged to Goddess in no time, was her slave, her pet, her plaything. The more I submitted, the deeper I got. After amusing Goddess for a while, she soon had me running around like a demented puppy, so eager to please, to jump through hoops for my Mistress, to prove myself. I couldn’t help it. I was scared, I was terrified, but I was so depraved, and so deeply under Mz Devon’s spell. In the back of my mind I was aware of the money that was seeping out of my accounts, but the more I pleaded poverty, the more Goddess made me open my wallet, the more I resisted, the more Goddess opened me up. Goddess Mz Devon is such an expert manipulator, she knows so well how to turn your lust, your weaknesses, your submission, against You. It’s not the money, she just enjoys forcing you further under her control, making you cave for her, do what you said you wouldn’t do, couldn’t do, go that little bit extra for her, prove to yourself what you will do for your Goddess, reinforcing your submission and your place at her feet in total subservience. And her place as Your Goddess. It is the manipulation and control that She revels in, and is so expert in – if it wasn’t so delicious giving in to Her, I would run a mile, she is so powerful, so skilful at at what she does, using my own weaknesses, my own logic, against me, to do her will, her bidding, or simply to amuse her! But I so don’t want to run away – obeying Goddess Mz Devon makes me so alive inside, so complete. I don’t know where I the last 7 days have gone, or who the man I was 7 days ago was, but I know that I am now well and truly Goddess Mz Devon’s slave, pet, and devoted servant – and I am so much more content and closer to heaven now than I was 7 days ago.
Since that first contact with Goddess 7 days ago, my life has been such a mixture of being scared, being reassured, being stretched, being tempted, being taken to to heights of ecstatic Goddess worship, and deep, deep submission, giving in to Goddess, accepting Goddess, accepting my fate under Mz Devon, so eager to get home to see what tasks and test are awaiting me, and to praise and worship my Goddess on a daily basis – it is a whirlwind, but such an exciting and euphoric whirlwind. And Goddess is so kind, and open, and gentle, and understanding, and demanding – and oh so Gorgeous!!!! Now I realize that I only want to please my Goddess, serve my Goddess, and worship my Goddess, in any way She sees fit. She has given my life purpose and meaning, and I thank her for it, from the bottom of my submissive little soul.
I’ve come a long way in these past 7 days, but I feel so much more fulfilled, now that I am in the service and the thrall of Goddess Mz Devon, the most perfect, most gorgeous, and most divine Goddess imaginable!