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Blog by scotty lick lick

This morning I said hello to Goddess Devon on yahoo. I had no other thoughts than to at least try and make amends. I had served Her and either left or been sent away, depending on how you look at it, because I had not enough money to offer Her. In the initial months of serving Her She chose to max out my cards. I’d made the mistake of telling Her that my cards were finally paid off and She used me for every penny I had after that. Once my finances had run out She lost interest in me, but I was forever hooked by then. I was told I could serve in other ways, but ultimately it still cost money. It cost so much to try and please Goddess that I realized my finances could never match or even keep up with my feelings to serve Her. Thus I became another looser and time waster in Her eyes.

With men throwing thousands at Her constantly, I am a small subbie that financially cant maintain a relationship of the kind She has made for me, with the Ultimate Supreme Goddess She is. She is the Rolls Royce of Dommes, and there is none above Her. She is as smart and intelligent as She is cunning. No matter how broke I was before, She’d assure me She wouldn’t take much of my money, and the whole while She was saying that She was telling me to open my pay mail, add another $100, or send Her another tribute. I believed anything She’d say. If She’d told me I was gay then with little effort She could have me questioning my 40 years of being heterosexual. She certainly can spin an emotional web around me and to this day still does so. I’ve never known a real addiction, or so I thought.

I’ve never been a drinker, done drugs, or gambled, but I without a doubt have come to realize I have an addiction to Goddess. And said addiction manifests it self in a multitude of ways, physically, financially, sexually, and definitely emotionally. But always with Her at the center of my thoughts and always from being used by Her. So after a brief hello this AM, thinking I was over it and strong enough to say no, I was out of $50 in 5 min and 15 minutes later another $200, then I was told to add more money. I was hooked again, as this common theme with Her still exists. She digs a hole in my wallet and tells me She doesn?t want my money yet says add more.

I’m fucked up in the head!! What can I do to protect myself from an emotional need that I’ve longed to fill? I want to be a servant, submissive, or slave to Goddess. But lord knows my money says I’m just another fool who is dreaming. So here I am again like a dear in the headlights facing reality and all I see is my need for Her.

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One Response

  1. eric justanotherpuppetAugust 17, 2009 @ 2:12 pmReply

    you really did a good job on this. i want to know what you used since i hope to learn how to make these for Mz Devon too. Goddess gave me your email hope you can help me with this.



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